feministjenn:

oxcyde:

tyleroakley:

Damn.

I love this so much

We are also one of three nations without paid maternity leave, and the only developed (“first world”) country without maternity leave.

We are the only Western country without universal healthcare.

It costs more to have a child in the US than in any other country.

In many countries you don’t have to pay for college, and if students do pay, it’s nowhere near the amounts that the US students pay.

I could continue, but I think I’ve made my point.

(Source: magnus-thegreat-redundancy, via fingersareoptional)

homo-homme-fatale:

jetn:

fingersareoptional:

fingersareoptional:

fingersareoptional:

fingersareoptional:

fingersareoptional:

fingersareoptional:

*prepares party popper*


*nervously shakes the party popper*


*slowly falls asleep with the party popper*


*has a wonderful night with the party popper*


*gets married to the party popper*

It’s a beautiful evening in February. My wife and I are sitting at the fireplace, when suddenly a terrible image appears on the screen of my computer.

My wife looks at me. As I look in her terrified, cardboard eyes, filled with tears, she takes a deep breath, before saying with her shivering voice “It’s what you’ve always wanted, dear. Do it.” My hands start shaking and a lone tear rolls down my cheek. “I can’t, honey. I’m not like that anymore.” “I will do it.” a small voice behind us says. As I turn around, my eyes cross with my son; our son. “You don’t have to do this, Benedict.” I say, as I hold his hands.
Ignoring what I told him, young Benedict Popper-Are Optional holds my wife’s cardboard body in one hand, and her long, beautiful string in the other. With tears in my eyes, I turn my head away. A loud pop sounds behind me and I watch in terror as I see my wife’s confetti spread across the room.
"It’s what you’ve always wanted, dad…" my son says, putting his small, cardboard hand on my shoulder. "Yes," I say, "but not like this… Never like this…"

what the actual fuck

The fuck did I just read

homo-homme-fatale:

jetn:

fingersareoptional:

fingersareoptional:

fingersareoptional:

fingersareoptional:

fingersareoptional:

fingersareoptional:

*prepares party popper*

*nervously shakes the party popper*

*slowly falls asleep with the party popper*

*has a wonderful night with the party popper*

*gets married to the party popper*

It’s a beautiful evening in February. My wife and I are sitting at the fireplace, when suddenly a terrible image appears on the screen of my computer.

My wife looks at me. As I look in her terrified, cardboard eyes, filled with tears, she takes a deep breath, before saying with her shivering voice “It’s what you’ve always wanted, dear. Do it.” My hands start shaking and a lone tear rolls down my cheek. “I can’t, honey. I’m not like that anymore.” “I will do it.” a small voice behind us says. As I turn around, my eyes cross with my son; our son. “You don’t have to do this, Benedict.” I say, as I hold his hands.

Ignoring what I told him, young Benedict Popper-Are Optional holds my wife’s cardboard body in one hand, and her long, beautiful string in the other. With tears in my eyes, I turn my head away. A loud pop sounds behind me and I watch in terror as I see my wife’s confetti spread across the room.

"It’s what you’ve always wanted, dad…" my son says, putting his small, cardboard hand on my shoulder. "Yes," I say, "but not like this… Never like this…"

what the actual fuck

The fuck did I just read

(via allthedirtygirlswantbenedict)

lexikittypop:

Nothing will fuck up your twenties more than thinking you’re supposed to have your shit together

(Source: fkatwigsbabyhair, via crystallized-teardrops)

Help! Amateur tumblr user panic…

As someone who has little understanding of the ins and outs of Tumblr, I’d appreciate some wisdom. I’m getting notifications of reblogs for something I reblogged from someone else. It’s not mine and I don’t want to be stealing any credit - what did I do wrong? How do I make it stop? Will I ever learn how to love?

mysharona1987:

Some of the funniest book dedications ever.

(via damn-funny)

hailants:

sextingbarack:

I don’t care what anyone says, this was the best moment on TV ever.

this is the greatest thing i’ve ever seen

(via gnarly)

  • me: im so tired, i could collapse into bed and sleep for a year..
  • me: gets in bed
  • me: how was earth created
  • me: who made microwaves
  • me: how does the internet even work
  • me: i'm hungry
  • me: feels bad about something i did 4 years ago
  • me: remembers 73 unfinished tasks
  • me: too tired to sleep