Having anything in Taupe automatically turns you into an old lady. Taupe curtains? You worked hard your whole life; treat yourself. Taupe pants? Well aren’t you the snazziest son of a bitch at the regional lawn bowls championship. Taupe Porsche? You’re a bit late to the midlife crisis party but goddamn it, good for you Irma!

baconsloth:

deoxyhemoglobin:

I was chatting with a donor before I drew his blood, and he was a dentist. when I actually drew him, there was just a little squirt of blood and it surprised him

I looked him in they eye and told him “you’re bleeding because you don’t floss”

and he went dead silent

had the opportunity and fucking seized it

(via crystallized-teardrops)

"A rich guy, a white guy and a black guy sit down at a table together. There’s a plate of 12 cookies, the rich guy grabs 11 of them and says to the white guy “watch out, that black guy’s trying to steal your cookie”."

— The link between class & race and how racial resentment has been used to divide the middle and working class in the U.S (via alaelia)

(Source: culturedecay, via crystallized-teardrops)

nokiabae:

my biggest fear is I’m married & my husband says, “let’s cut sugar out of our diet” so I have to leave with the kids in the middle of the night

(via olitwist)

nextyearsgirl:

“Agree to disagree” is white guy speak for “I understand you have an opinion but unfortunately, me.”

(Source: nextyearsgirlisaghostnow, via damn-funny)

iammyurl:

By Erica Kuschel.

If this doesn’t make you want to visit Peru, then you don’t deserve to see these pics. Shoo shoo scroll away.

(via damn-funny)

"Don’t ever compliment me by insulting other women. That’s not a compliment, it’s a competition none of us agreed to."

— "You’re not like other girls." Shut the fuck up. (via louiswstyles)

(Source: escapedgoat, via spaghettiettie)

tastefullyoffensive:

[maximumble]
"If you can speak about what you care about to a person you disagree with without denigrating or insulting them, then you may actually be heard, and you might even change their mind"

— Amy Poehler (via quote-bucket)